I hear other moms going on about what the family is going to dress up as for Halloween and who they're celebrating Thanksgiving with. I hear other moms talk about writing letters to Santa and putting out the cookies on Christmas Eve and decorating the tree and Christmas outfits and running down the stairs at 5am on Christmas morning to bust into the gifts.
You guys, my little boy doesn't understand Holidays. He doesn't even know what a holiday IS. I used to be able to say that other kids his age didn't get it either. But at nearly 4 1/2, they indisputably do. Other kids are snarling at mom's camera dressed as Wolverine or are dancing around as Tinkerbell. But not Mini. Mini wouldn't even *look* at his firefighter costume, and would start yelling at me if I suggested actually trying it on.
Not only is it a hard reality that he doesn't understand holidays, but it was particularly frustrating this year because our new neighbors asked us to join them for trick or treating. I want us to be a part of this new street we live on. I want us to be a community and to enjoy living on this street together. So I wanted to trick or treat with them. Although I did get Mini to finally put his Firefighter jacket on for about 10 minutes two days before Halloween, I couldn't do it again. So I desperately decided I'd take the costume to behavior therapy, just to see if they could help us.
Of COURSE all the therapists dressed up. They knew Mini was having trouble with the Halloween thing, so when we walked in they launched a little skit:
Therapist 1: Oh Therapist 2! You look so awesome in your Halloween costume!! Let me take your picture! Great! Now say "trick or treat!"
Therapist 2: TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!!
Therapist 1: TREAT! Now you get to take a piece of candy AND a playdoh out of the bucket! Pick your very favorite color!
Therapist 2: Oh this is so fun! When I put on my costume, I get CANDY AND PLAYDOH! Hey mom, look at my candy and paydoh!
Me: Wow, that is AWESOME. I love your costume! Costumes and Candy and Playdoh are super fun!
Mini watched the scene unfold but didn't have much to say about the whole trick or treat scene, so I was unconvinced he'd get on the costume bus. Shortly after that little skit, I left.
When I showed up 2 and a half hours later to pick him up, he was standing in the hall taping up a turkey he painted, with a trick or treat bucket at his feet, dressed in his firefighter costume.
Friends, ABA Therapists are MIRACLE WORKERS. Not only was he dressed in his costume for the duration of his therapy session, but he actually asked to put it on. They were able to motivate him to want Halloween. As I heard him say "trick or treat" with the other kids in the hall, and all the therapists erupted in applause and cheers, and then Mini launched the whole crowd into a version of the Days of the Week song complete with clapping and LOUD singing, I just started crying. Thank you, Universe, for the gift of ABA Therapy, and people who don't give up on my little boy, and this special, safe, amazing place called The Clinic, and thank you, thank you, thank you for making Mini happy happy happy happy. Thank you for making him happy.
So that night, he couldn't wait to get his costume on, and he rode his bike from house to house with us and our new friends across the street, and he carried his jack-o-lantern bucket to the door and said trick or treat and please and thank you and laughed and smiled and engaged other kiddos as we passed them on the street. I almost couldn't speak, just so amazed at the change. He loved it so much that he keeps asking me to go again.
This is the beauty of ABA Therapy. They see potential a little boy who is stuck in his own world, who looks at the outside world and feels intimidated and afraid, who can't understand all the big weird things people say and do, and can't understand why he'd want to go outside his safe zone and participate in all that weird madness. They don't take NO for an answer, despite his AVID and repeated attempts to NOT learn. They know he can be more and do more and have more fun and love his life more and show them how smart he is. They know how to reach inside and pull all the confidence and motivation and sunshine and desire out of the children they work with. They know how to show children the world in a way that makes children want the world. I mean.... Just.... WOW.
The therapists are teaching me, too. They are teaching me about patience and hope. They are teaching me that I can trust other people with My Heart (which is to say... my son). They are teaching me to be less defeatist, and they are teaching me that good news pretty much always accompanies the bad news. They are always paired together. They teach me that, when it comes to Mini, I can always choose to focus on a good thing instead of a bad thing. I am fortunate. I am lucky. My team is capable and passionate.
I keep learning in my life that I am in control of my own obsessive thoughts. Again and again, I let negative self-talk and doubt overpower the good news that is trying to wedge its way in. So many of us do that. Let's not do that today, friends. When negative thoughts overtake our hearts today, let's reach inside and find the good news. Because we all know it's there.
Grab a piece of candy out of the Halloween bucket. Savor a bite and smile at the good things in life.
Yay, Nay! And, Good Job, Buddy!
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